the broken reality/the ugly truth

when I find myself alone in a quiet place I often start to think about the ugly truth about anything and everything. Upon pondering this repugnant reality (but somewhat pleasant to me), I've come to realize that we as people avoid the ugly truth about everything! Who we really are, our true intents, and even our very purpose. Question, when you buy a present for somebody, do you buy a present for that somebody because it's just to be nice? maybe if you hated that person but the ugly truth is that you bought that gift because you didn't want to feel guilty for being the only one not to buy a gift for him/her. Now, say you do buy something for a relative or for close friends, you buy and put some thoughts into it that will always benefit yourself (OMG this is going to be fun). My cousin, close friends, & family may already know this but whenever I get a gift, the ugly truth is that I'm really only doing this to benefit myself. For instance, I built my cousin a bike from scratch although I had other presents in mind, this one came at an awesome price that I was willing to pay & play. I had put together a one off bike that he can call his own and knowing his posse they could not bite this style (my pet peeve). Sure anyone can buy and ride a bike but to ride one that was made for you, in your style and taste is on a whole other level. After the build and having to give the bike to him, I knew 1)he would gloat to his friends about his new bike and 2) how awesome his cousin is. My original intentions were to make him happy and to get him to shut up about buying a fixed gear that we all know he was never to going buy! Now upon planning this build I realized what I was really after, which was 1)building up my "Awesome" cousin status 2)showing off my creativity & taste 3)my vast knowledge of bicycle parts. Throughout the process of this build people complimented the bike and asked constantly "is this your bike?", "who are you building this for?", & "how much does a bike like this cost?" (no,my cousin,priceless). I'm going to spell this out for all my readers, "these are the questions that fill my ego and make me who I am". I don't go fishing for these questions they just come along and what I don't understand is, why do people ask these questions when they already know the answer? I hardly ever answer questions because I'll give you this look and maybe raise one eyebrow until the ugly truth of an answer slaps you across your face and then I'll smile and you go "AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" If you've ever received a gift from me or anyone else, ask yourself "why did they buy this for me?" think and then think about it again. I could go on but I've grown tired of this subject. In closing I am awesome and manipulative, and this is my ugly truth!

p.s. I'm Hella BOOJEE!

inspired by the inspired

do you ever wonder what inspires you to go on with everyday life, to want to live, to want to write, to be awesome, or to be motivated to do something else? who and what are your influences? majority of people will say "my peers" inspire me and motivate me to accomplish certain goals. I myself look to my peers to open doors for me and once my foot is through the door, I personally think that from here on out it's all a mental game against myself. As broad of a subject as this sounds, I think this applies to majority of situations. Think about the many situations that you've been in and ask yourself this, "Who have I looked to for strength to help me push through this wall that I have hit?" Have you helped yourself or depended on a friend to get you through this? I know that most of your answers are pretty much going to be that you have depended on someone else to help push you through a certain situation. I personally like the challenge of pushing myself through the wall I have hit. I love a mental challenge because it's puts you on a different level and alters your thoughts about how to approach certain situations. For example, I almost hit a wall today after thinking about my workout schedule, I found myself starting to fall off after my cousin has worked soo hard to get me back into the gym (thanks ron for opening that door). Today I had a choice of either raising my BMR (Basal Metabolic Rate) by doing my hour of cardio or finish a movie I had started about 30mins ago. I didn't turn to my cousin for advice nor did I turn to a friend but I turned to myself and weighed my options. Do I wanna finish a movie that I'd rather watch with my cousin instead of by myself or should I go after my goal (break into the 180's lbs) and just hit the gym. My heart didn't even miss a beat, I stood up off of the couch, changed clothes, and scadadled my fat arse off to the gym because in the end I knew that this decision would be a good effect to later this evening. I hit my goal (189lbs) and me and my cousin can watch "Inglorious Bastards" and laugh about it later tonight. My main trick to what inspired me to hit the gym rather than sit on my arse is this, I didn't think but rather I reacted because through past experiences the more you think about it, the more you delay yourself from doing it and after wasting countless minutes (maybe even hours) of thinking, now you have grown lazy and tired and just don't want to do anything! In this certain situation I applied the saying "actions speak louder than words!" which worked out pretty well, I didn't call anybody and asked for their advise but rather I acted on my own and inspired myself to achieve my goal. After reading this and after you find yourself in another sticky situation, think about what I said and try to alter your train of thought and motivate yourself to push through your tough situation!

chocolate cake holiday nightmare

I am going to start by saying that I'm very luck to have an awesome family, cousins, and friends! I am very fortunate to have my closest relatives and friends stick with me through thick & thin and always help by pointing me in the right direction at my most disarrayed moments. I look forward to what the holidays have to offer this yeas as I am very fortunate to have a glimpse of what my belated birthday/Christmas present will be this year (thanks humberto! although I would have loved to see which portrait of J.D. you had originally picked out for me to have painted). I will be trying hard this year to be able to afford gifts for all my closest relatives (as if my sense of humor and being around them isn't enough J/K!). I can't wait until this Thursday as I will stuff my face with turkey and pass out. Just out of curiosity, how many of you like stuffing? Do you prefer eating it as a side dish, next to the turkey? or stuffed in it's arse? I think it's pretty disgusting to go picking into the turkey's arse for food! sorry I was digressing a little bit. So this holiday season is turning out very good for me so far and I hope you all have an awesome one as well! I just wanna say thank you to my family and friends for being supportive of my decisions, my cousin ron for motivating me and getting me into better shape (not quite jacob yet), & humberto for making blog post #5 real and true! Thank you all!

there will be redrum.....

not literally, jeez. What I mean is that I have ordered my last track bike (frame only) and I'm sorry to report that it is not a Cinelli x Mash frame and for this, I sincerely apologize to all my fans (j/k). I am having thoughts of how I am going to be building this frame and I'd like to finish is before Christmas. The theme of my bike will be "Murder" as in I will be building up this bike all blacked out with minimal red accents (top headset cup). I have to be careful when executing this theme because the slightest detail like a silver chain can throw it off! It will be a "Chocolate Cake Nightmare before Christmas" my Christmas present to myself! I look forward to this build because this will be my last track bike build! To all of those who know what frame I'm building, HUSH! but for those that don't, I say "Wait for it......................................"

am i interesting?

today we are going to talk about what makes me interesting? I know many of you probably don't read this (I feel like I'm talking to myself) because you have better things to do. Do you ever ask yourself why do your friends keep you around? I often do when I start to notice when I travel (going out) in big groups (about 6 or more). I ask myself why am I hanging out with these guys/girls or why are they hanging out with me? I sometimes let this go (for the sake of peace in mind) but this time I want to answer my own question. I don't find myself interesting but I do find myself unique, I tend to do things by myself because not many of my friends share the same mentality/humor as I do. Last night I had an interesting conversation with a friend about how our first impressions are usually "Shy" at first but once we get to know each other we open up. I on the other hand will probably be shy for a while (3-4 years) before you start seeing the "666" stamped on my forehead. I find that my shyness draws people to liking me, don't get me wrong I do open up and I can hold a conversation but I don't open up all the way (unless I'm drunk). People often think I'm weird because I collect sneakers and I'm into the not so general stuff that everyone else is in too. So what if I like being part of an exclusive club? so what if I have dreams about rats and cats in a cage, setting them on fire, and then waking up laughing hysterically!? I have tried opening up to some of my friends but one who has a close glimpse of my insanity would be my cousin, unfortunately (sorry Ron). I am lost in writing this post/blog? If you are reading this, what is it that you find interesting about me that makes you keep me around as a friend? enlighten me....I'm curious

the diner that never existed...

For those that have been my roommate or have seen my room done-up by me can say that I like things simple and try to keep a good vibe to my home. I'll generally try to go with a theme, back in my military days I was and still am inspired by J.Dean (R.I.P.) and had a good collection of 50's & 60's art prints that anchored from the wall of my various rooms. There is one print that I've never owned (due to the lack of space) but now that I've got an ample amount of space, I think I will purchase this classic print but with a Bansky Twist! "Nighthawks Forever" Bansky edition would be a great addition to our "Lounge". Can't Wait!

my distraction to save me from me

This information is for the ones that already know me but don't understand me. Do you ever wonder why you are where you are today? I don't particularly mean the more broad choices that you've made in life that brought you to where you are today. I mean, do you ever think about why you are in debt? I'm at a point in my life where I've come to realize that "debt" will be the bane of my existence, I know it sounds stupid but it's true. I try so hard to make it out of debt but why can't I seem to shake off the one thing that keeps me in this constant struggle for the title "debt free". Here's why, I tend to find hobbies that keep me busy and keeps me happy but these hobbies come at a expensive price, and this is the lifestyle I have chosen. My hobbies are what keeps me in debt and it's what keeps me happy right, so why don't I stop? Should I see a therapist about my problems? NO! Why? because like what my cousin always say's "Do whatever makes you happy, buy whatever makes you happy, because IT'S CHEAPER THAN THERAPY!"(FML). Buying the things I want keeps a smile on my face but I'm learning to control my impulse buys and urges to buy awesome things. Here's a little bit of an insight to my way of life, I like to buy things that many others won't have or wouldn't even think to buy. I don't like to have the feeling that when I go out there's a chance someone is wearing the same clothes, sneakers, hats, or even riding the same bike as I me. I like being exclusive in my own way. Take for instance bicycles, I've never thought I would have gotten into bikes if it weren't for my brother and my cousin. To hear them talk passionately about it made me a bit interested and once I started researching it, I found several people throwing their own ideas and styles into their own bikes and I'd love to learn on how to build and work my own bike so I asked myself what better way to learn something than to start working at the source! So I started working at a bike shop and bought my first bike which was the Fuji Obey Track bike (see profile picture, thanks the david). But that bike just got me into riding although I wanted to customize it, I didn't really want to start butchering Shepard Fairey's design. I knew that before I can start customizing my bike I had to learn the fundamentals of building a bike. I tried reading books (that didn't work) but from past experiences I've learned that the best way for me to learn is to have a hands on experience on building a bike. I've spent 2 months plotting and researching on which frame, parts, & wheels I'd like to build. After saving and researching I finally took the dive and bought the 2008 Bianchi Pista Concept and slowly started gathering parts. Once I have purchased all the necessary parts, I went to town and started my first build. My parts list are as follows (I tried not to cut any corners on any of my parts). Like I always say "If your going to do it, do it RIGHT!"
~2008 Bianchi Pista Concept (White), Deda aluminum pista bars wrapped w/ Celeste bartape, Ritchey WCS 4-axis stem (White), Miche Supertype Seatpost, Fizik Arione saddle, Phil Wood Titanium Campy Spec Bottom Bracket, Sugino 75 Crankset/75 chainring (48t black/black), MKS RX-1 Pedals/MKS cages/MKS Alpha Double Straps, Mavic Ellipse Trackwheelset (16t Surly Cog),& Vittoria Rubino Pro's (Celeste)~
more to come but in the meantime ENJOY!

my wolf pack

"You guys might not know this, but I consider myself a bit of a loner. I tend to think of myself as a one-man wolf pack. But when my mothers sister brought Ron home, I knew he was one of my own. And my wolf pack... it grew by one. So there... there were two of us in the wolf pack... I was alone first in the pack, and then Ron joined in later. And six months ago, when Ron introduced me to Mike and Lucky, I thought, "Wait a second, could it be?" And now I know for sure, I just added two more guys to my wolf pack. Four of us wolves, running around the desert together, in Las Vegas, looking for strippers and cocaine. So tonight, I make a toast!"

my last track bike.. I swear!

So today I've decided I will be buying myself an early Christmas present (not really because it'll take a month to get here) because it's all I can think about. I've been pondering this idea for quite sometime now. As I was building up my last tarck bike I was ruffling around in my parts bin and thought to myself "I have enough parts here for another track bike but all I need is a frame, hmmmmm...". Well today I've officially decided that I will be buying the Cinelli x Mash frame. As much as I hate paying retail for anything bike related, I guess I'll make an exception because I'll pretty much have majority of the parts ready to go onto the bike. I'm looking to build this bike pretty similar to how Mash had showcased it, from the Profile Cobra wing base bar down to the H+Son wheel set. I'll try to stay true to it's intended purpose and it's original setup because I'm tired of seeing this frame built up with retarded risers and basically cheap parts. Like I always say and always live by "If your going to do it, do it RIGHT!"

new goodies!

Yesterday I dropped by the job (bike shop) and picked up my new Park Tools TS2.2 wheel truing stand. I have also ordered some of the necessary accessories needed to start building and maintaining my wheels. I look forward to learning and practicing wheel truing because I find it to be somewhat of a challenge and a quite interesting experience. I've seen many people try but fail to be a decent wheel truer but I'm looking to be an awesome one! Hopefully with some good reading and practice I'll get there. If anyone needs some minor wheel truing or for a lack of better words, if anyone trust's me enough to true their wheel for some practice let me know! But before I can get everything set up (my work station) I'll need to buy a work bench (Pedros Workbench, the david don't judge me!). Once I have everything, I'll post some pictures of my workstation!

momma's chocolate cake....

I've been trying to post something new every day but unfortunately I was basically stuck yesterday trying to find a new template/theme for this blog that would eventually go with my title. I think I picked a good one! Let me know what you think... Well, today is November 10th and it's officially my momma's birthday! Looks like this year we'll have a nice evening out at Bob Chins Restaurant (EXPENSIVO!). I've got a lot of running around to do today. Hopefully they have chocolate cake to serve at the restaurant so that momma can finish her night off with a sweet tooth. On a side note, it's been relatively 2 1/2 years since my release from the Marines and today is also the Marine Corps birthday so to all my fellow Devil Dog's, happy birthday and Semper Fi (no moto)!

my chocolate cake delight!

Today I went home to see momma and celebrate her birthday. As we celebrated and sang the dreadful "Happy Birthday" song I began to remember that, while I was here I needed to find a pair of sneakers that I couldn't seem to find in my closet back at my pad so I started to wander off to my room to see if they were there. I was looking for a pink sb box labled "T-19" but couldn't find it anywhere in my waste stash of shoe boxes. As I looked up and turned toward my bed, a very large box caught my eye which was sitting and over shadowing my old nightstand. I eyeballed the lettering on the box which was in crisscross manner that read "C.O.A.R.S.E". My heart pounded and a sense of adrenaline rush hit my system, not only was it my mom's birthday but it felt like it was mine as well. My long awaited chocolate cake delight was here! #85 of 100 pieces ever produced of the HKG Jaws "Pain Edition" was sitting on my old nightstand. I'm pretty excited as this will compliment my Paws "Pain Edition" which is the archenemy to the Jaws. My only task now is, how will I display this in a manner that won't draw too much attention to it that it outshines everything else in my room?
Welcome to my Chocolate Cake Delight!

my delicious chocolate cake nightmare!

I woke up today with a sudden ache in my head and belly. Was the nauseating pain caused from my escalating "Chocolate Cake Nightmare"? My nightmares consist of principles that only matter to me and that of no one else. I had a dream that I was in a hall way and on one end of the hall there was a brand new set of Kaws Nike AM90's (thinking to myself "How did my pair end up here?") and as I turned around, I saw a beat and used set of Kaws Nike AM90 Currents at the other end. As I walked over and picked up the beat old pair of Kaws AM90 Currents (black), I said "these can't be mine, they're not even my size" As I turned to walk to the other side of the hallway, my sister appears and tells me that she sold my brand new pair of Kaws AM90 currents for $60 Dollars to help pay for her Chocolate Cakes and she found a cheap & beat AM90 Currents to replace the ones she took and sold from me. I yelled and told her that she sold a $500 dollar pair of sneakers for $60 and for what? so that she can pay a bill? why would anyone take, let alone steal something and sell it for less than what it's worth? I yelled "FML"! then I woke up got dressed, went to work, and started this blog.